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Living with a neurodivergent brain: my experience with ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia - The Gibbons House

Hey there! TJ here from The Gibbons House.


How are you? It's great to see you here.

Its officially spooky season, I am very excited for pumpkin picking and crunchy leaf walks, though you can keep your pumpkin spiced lattes, they are not for me.


I have some exciting news to share with you all. I can't share it just yet, not until it actually happens, but watch this space. If you are on the mailing list (if you're not, why aren't you!?) you'll receive an email with all of the information on before it goes onto social media or the blog!


If you've read some of my other posts, you may have noticed that I sometimes mention the impact of my ADHD brain, often in a joking manner, like saying, "Thanks, ADHD!"

But the truth is, it's not always a laughing matter—sometimes, it never is. If it wasn't for the incredible support system I have, I would be a lot worse of than I am. My mum has been my rock all my life, so a huge shout out to her.


Two women a mother and daughter sit laughing on a fence
A huge shout out to my mum.

While I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD yet, I am on the waiting list to see a psychiatrist for an evaluation. However, I do have diagnoses of Dyslexia and Dyspraxia, both of which are neurodivergent conditions. There's a significant overlap between these diagnoses; individuals with ADHD are more likely to have Dyslexia and/or Dyspraxia, and vice versa.

Additionally, I have Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder, and recent studies have begun to show links between neurodivergence and connective tissue conditions.

I wasn't diagnosed with Dyslexia and Dyspraxia until university, and I've had to advocate for an ADHD diagnosis. Although awareness of these conditions has increased dramatically in recent years, many children, like I once was, still fall through the cracks. By sharing my experiences and struggles, I hope to help someone recognize a child who may have similar conditions and ensure they receive the diagnosis and support they need earlier than I did. I also aim to give those like me a voice, and show you that you are not alone with your experiences.


First off, what is ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia?


ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition marked by difficulties with attention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. Its effects vary from person to person, leading to challenges in different areas of life, including school, work, and relationships.

Dyslexia is a specific learning disability that primarily impacts reading and language processing. Individuals with dyslexia may struggle with accurate and fluent word recognition, spelling, and decoding, which can hinder their overall reading comprehension.

Dyspraxia, also known as Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), is a neurological condition that affects a person's ability to plan and coordinate physical movements. It can impact fine motor skills, such as writing or buttoning a shirt, as well as gross motor skills like running or jumping. Additionally, people with dyspraxia may face challenges with organization, time management, and spatial awareness.



Living with a neurodivergent brain can be tough, but it's also beautiful if you are given the right tools and settings to let it flourish. Someone I spoke to about ADHD once said that it's like those with neurodivergent brains would have been more successful in the olden days where we had to hunt for our food and work for our survival rather than sitting at a desk all day.


I was a quirky loner who preferred sitting in the library with a book rather than hanging out with my peers. I faced constant bullying and never seemed to fit in.

In primary school, I struggled with spelling tests and was one of the last kids in my class to transition from pencil to pen writing due to my poor handwriting. I had trouble distinguishing my left from my right. When we were taught the L method—holding our hands in front of us to form an L shape—I couldn't tell which L was correct; both looked right and wrong to me. I had difficulty keeping my writing on the lines and coloring within the picture borders. While motor control issues weren't unusual in children my age, my early signs of struggle were either ignored or overlooked by the system. After all, I was a bright child, excelling in subjects I enjoyed and demonstrating creative problem-solving skills. I often took on leadership roles in the classroom and on the sports field.



A girl punches a punching bag
I always had to be busy as a kid

In high school, I excelled in the subjects I enjoyed, but my grades didn't reflect my knowledge and understanding. I often hid in the library, immersing myself in fantasy novels because socializing with those who didn't understand me felt overwhelming. I was a self-proclaimed nerd, loving English, R.E., P.E., Biology, and Drama. However, everything else felt boring and failed to engage my mind. My spelling remained atrocious, and I struggled to take notes at the pace the teacher moved. While a few of my peers were diagnosed with Dyslexia or ADHD, their signs were more apparent—they had difficulty reading or writing, or they were the typical "naughty" boys who couldn't sit still.

I went under the radar.


Outside of school, I was adventurous and often led my best friend into trouble, much to his dismay.

We would build dens in the woods and stay out until the street lamps came on, our signal that it was time to head home.

A child smiles at the camera
I was a happy child who loved to be active

When I asked my mom what I was like outside of school, she explained that I was always on the go and bored easily. She found it extremely challenging to keep me entertained, and eventually, she had me help with dinner, like peeling potatoes, to keep me busy. Unfortunately, I struggled with this task because I lacked the motor skills and coordination needed, but I did it anyway.


In high school, I discovered my passion for the Outdoor Adventure industry during a school trip. When I asked my BTEC PE teacher if it could be a career choice, she confirmed that it was. In that moment, my entire focus shifted, and I knew I wanted to pursue something related to it.

In exams, I managed to navigate my struggles largely because I was granted extra time and allowed to use a PC for writing assessments. This accommodation was due to my diagnosis of Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder, which made it difficult for me to write for extended periods without pain. These allowances supported me in more ways than one, though I was unaware of their full impact at the time. This is another reason why my diagnoses were not apparent earlier.


I went to college to study Outdoor Adventure, but even there, my struggles went unnoticed. I thrived in the practical components, but the theoretical aspects posed challenges for me. I loved writing, and since all grades were based on essays or practical assessments, my passion helped me overcome some structural issues. Using a laptop also assisted with my spelling and punctuation mistakes.

Despite my efforts, I could never grasp map reading, no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted to succeed. However, I excelled in other areas of the course. I even became friends with someone who was severely dyslexic, and I was glad to lend a helping hand when it came to taking notes and ensuring they received the support they needed.

I made a good group of friends at college, we all had similar interests and were all as weird as each other.

a group are sailing on a lake
College gave me chance to explore my passions practically

At no point during my school or college years did I even suspect that I could have Dyslexia, let alone Dyspraxia and ADHD! It wasn't a thought that crossed my mind once.

ADHD was for boys who couldn't sit still in class and had anger issues and those with Dyslexia weren't able to read and write without assistance. At least, that's how I understood it. Obviously I now know that is not the case. But these conditions were never taught to us, never explained to us. We never had someone sit us down and explain that some peoples brains work different, or some peoples bodies work differently. We grew up naive in that aspect.



During college I had several jobs, all because I got bored constantly or got depressed at the place I was working. None of them were fun enough for me to stay.

Many people would be able to hold out in those types of jobs, but for some reason I could not. (ADHD symptom right here!)


After college, I took a gap year and worked as a climbing instructor. That’s when I really noticed my difficulty with lefts and rights. While instructing a child to "move your left foot," I realized I actually meant their right foot. My friends discovered that using phrases like "watch wrist" or "watch foot" helped me understand better since I always wore my watch on my right wrist, even though I didn’t recognize it as my right side. It made teaching tricky, though.

Despite this challenge, I loved the job. It was physical, kept me active, and allowed me to learn and teach simultaneously. I thoroughly enjoyed working with the kids and the community I found at the climbing wall. I stayed there for about four years, the longest job I’ve ever had (though my current job is set to surpass that!).

Before this, I worked in a café, a garden center, a pub, and TK Maxx. I also spent a season with a bushcraft school during my time at university before returning to the climbing wall.


A young woman sits atop a mountain map reading
Uni helped me overcome a lot of my struggles

When I applied to university, they asked if I faced any challenges with academic learning. I noted that I struggled with spelling and sometimes had difficulty expressing my thoughts clearly. Before the year began, they invited me in for a few 'tests' to assess what support I might need. The woman conducting the tests referred me to a university-affiliated psychiatrist, who later diagnosed me with Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.

As a result, I received access to a support tutor throughout my time at university, along with a laptop equipped with helpful software. I was also given a fantastic book and pen that could record my tutor’s speech while capturing my notes, seamlessly combining them when I uploaded everything to the laptop.




A young woman climbs a rock face
My passion for climbing was still going strong

At university, I encountered my first significant struggle with someone who didn’t understand my brain differences. A tutor for several modules had poorly structured lectures filled with anecdotal sidetracks, making it difficult to learn anything useful. He flipped through slides too quickly for me to follow, leaving me unable to take notes or focus.

After one lecture, I spoke to him privately about my difficulties, and he kindly promised to print the slides for me and adjust his pace. However, he didn’t follow through.

Although he slowed down slightly, he once called out to the class, “Sorry guys. We are just going to wait for TJ to catch up; she's a little behind and is struggling to keep up.”

I was devastated and left the lecture in tears. He had said that in front of my entire year group, bringing attention to the fact that I was behind.

I filed a formal complaint against him and lost all respect for him. How could he humiliate me in front of my peers after I had sought his understanding?

Despite this incident, thanks to the tools and support tutor, I performed well on my exams and essays. I was genuinely interested in most of what we were learning, which made it easy to stay passionate about the material. In fact, I often received feedback that my essays were too long and needed to be shortened!



I experienced my first real breakup during my first year of university, which led me to jump in and out of relationships, quickly earning a reputation as a bit of a man-eater.

However, I never viewed it that way. I entered relationships out of boredom and the thrill of being with someone new. I ended them when I encountered issues, grew bored, or realized they weren’t great guys. Eventually, I recognized that I needed to find myself as a person before seeking someone else to share my life with.



A young woman tries to light a fire with a magnifying glass
I loved being a bushcraft instructor

I was thrust into life full-on after graduating, taking a job in a care home—thanks to the lockdown, it was the only position available! However, the job didn’t keep me engaged and posed challenges in areas like administration, planning, and time management.

When the lockdown lifted, I returned for another season of bushcraft, where I met my partner. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever had, and it’s the only one where I can envision a future together without feeling overwhelmed or bored by the idea.

Recently, I’ve noticed an increase in my anxiety. I’ve never been an anxious person, but now I find myself struggling with it frequently. Past experiences resurface, making me fear the future and conjuring up unrealistic scenarios in my mind. It can be overwhelming at times, and I don’t yet fully understand or have control over it, but I’m working on it!


I then found my current job as a project worker at a charity farm, where I work with adults and children with disabilities.

This is, by far, my favorite job yet.

I spend my days outdoors, surrounded by incredible animals and wonderful people. The connections I have with both nature and others are immensely rewarding, satisfying every part of my being! I am learning new skills, helping individuals discover more about animals, and witnessing their personal growth. The bonds I share with the animals truly make my heart sing.

Being physically active keeps me engaged, and since I started working at the farm, my hypermobility flare-ups have decreased, making my symptoms much more manageable. The only challenge is the fatigue, but it's a small price to pay for the joy I experience in my life.

A young woman holds two pet rabbits that she rescued
My first 2 rabbits, Eclipe and Artemis.

I also rescued a dog and four rabbits, and my life quickly became consumed with researching how to improve their lives. I focused on training, keeping them healthy, and ensuring their happiness, which has become a huge passion of mine. Hello, ADHD hyperfocus!

If you want to read about my journey into rescuing them all, you can read about Anayah (my dog) here and the rabbits here!


Since working with others who have ADHD, I've recognized similar traits in my own behavior. A colleague suggested I get tested, and when I mentioned it to people in my life, they all responded with comments like, "Oh, you've finally realized," or "That makes so much sense."

I researched ADHD, and the first article I found about women with the condition brought me to tears. I could relate to so much of it—years of struggling and masking my true self, feeling under-motivated without knowing why, and the challenges I faced after moving out on my own. Suddenly, everything made sense; my life was explained in one article.

I had been hiding my issues, thinking it was just me being odd. I learned that this is called masking, and I excel at it. I often forgot to eat or drink when hyper-focused, got frustrated if interrupted, and struggled to hear others when I was engrossed in something else. I faced anxiety, procrastination, and the daily challenge of losing my keys or forgetting where I left my glasses.

Now, I understand there’s a reason behind it all. I’m not broken or weird; my brain is simply wired differently.



I booked an appointment with an NHS doctor to get a referral for ADHD. Before my visit, I filled out a questionnaire, answering "almost always" or "always" to nearly every question.

When the appointment arrived, I was unsure what to expect. A female doctor sat across from me and asked why I was there, which confused me. I handed her the questionnaire and explained that I suspected I might have ADHD. She placed the paper on her desk without looking at it and asked why I thought that.

I pointed out that my answers were on the sheet. We briefly discussed some of my symptoms, and at the end of the appointment, she informed me that she had sent the referral but believed it was a waste of time. She thought they wouldn’t medicate me even if I were diagnosed, as she believed I was managing well.

I countered that if I were managing well, I wouldn’t have sought help. She then asked why the diagnosis was important, stunning me with her question. I explained that if it wasn't ADHD, something else was going on because my brain didn’t function "normally."

She mentioned that many people were being diagnosed with ADHD and suggested it was overdiagnosed, attributing the increase to more people seeking diagnoses. I gently educated her that ADHD is still being researched, particularly in women, and the rise in diagnoses reflects increased awareness, not prevalence.

Then she claimed I couldn’t have ADHD because I was sitting there talking to her, had a successful job, a university degree, and a stable relationship.

I was gobsmacked.

She was rude and patronizing, dismissing my concerns.

She even suggested I should stop researching ADHD, saying I was just mimicking symptoms I had read about. At that moment, I struggled to hold back tears and anger.

I shifted the conversation, asking how to be referred to a rheumatologist for another medical issue. When I confirmed it was about my hypermobility, she told me to get used to the pain and fatigue, as it was a lifelong condition with no available help.

I left the room in tears, feeling smaller than ever. In just a few minutes, she had reduced me to nothing, making me feel unheard and uncared for.


Eventually, I received an email from Psych UK, who are now handling my referral. I am on the waiting list after completing all of the online forms and references.

That’s where I currently stand in my ADHD diagnosis journey, and I will keep you all posted as soon as I hear anything.


I have found many passions and hobbies that I dip in and out off because in true ADHD fashion I get bored of them and then love them again. I love archery, climbing, photography. viking reenactment and I have a crafty side too. All of these hobbies get my brain engaged and are physically active which seems to help me be a little bit more in control of my brain, it gives me time to be creative and learn new skills. Without these hobbies, I think I would have really struggled. I love the thrill of travelling, too, and any adventure really!

A young woman doing a happy dance in the middle of the mountains
I love the thrill of travelling and adventure


To all of you neurodivergents out there, you are not alone, and I see you. I hear you, and many of us do.

If you know someone who is neurodivergent, let them know they are not alone. Listen to them and take their experiences seriously.

If you are a teacher or work with children, keep an open mind that some of them may be neurodivergent. Help them get recognized rather than allowing them to slip through the cracks.

If you are a neurotypical person, first, what’s it like!? Second, be kind to those around you and understand that not everyone's brain works the same way yours does. Work with people to help understand their needs and how they function best, rather than making them feel horrible and misunderstood.


I have now accepted that my brain works differently, and I am learning to make adaptations. I am becoming more aware of when I am masking and when I am not, and my partner is working with me on this.

I am also learning to be kinder to myself.

This is a challenging journey, but I am only at the beginning. Self-discovery and self-love are things I am working very hard on.

By sharing my journey, I hope to shed light on the complexities of neurodivergent conditions and the importance of being open and understanding toward others. I am still learning how other areas of my life have been affected by these conditions, especially since I didn’t always note things down because they felt normal to me.

Thank you for reading; this has been a very open and raw post to write!

If you are neurodivergent or suffer from anxiety, please feel free to reach out. If you have had a similar experience with a medical professional or just want to chat, you can comment below, send me an email, or connect with me on social media.

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