Hello! TJ here; I hope you’re doing well!
The Thursday just gone was my mother’s birthday, and to celebrate her, I thought I would dedicate this week’s blog post to her. She is a woman who doesn't understand her own worth most days, and I want to change that.
My mum, Theresa, is an incredible woman. This post will be filled with memories and moments, as well as a bit of bragging about how lucky I am to call her my mum.
I won’t pretend everything has been perfect; we’ve had our fair share of arguments and disagreements, and both of us have our flaws. Our biggest struggle came during my teenage years as I was becoming the independent woman she raised me to be. With two strong-willed and stubborn women under one roof, it was challenging for both of us. However, once I moved out, everything seemed to settle down again!
My mum had a difficult childhood, which I won’t delve into as it’s not my story to share. She has little contact with much of her family and became the black sheep when she moved to Hereford with my dad. They had me, split up, and then it was just my mum and me.

And that’s how it was for a long time—just Mother and daughter against the world, until KT (dog) joined the family, then it was the 3 of us against the world! And even though there are now people in both of our lives, we still go to each other for anything and everything.
She didn’t have it easy raising me alone in a house that was falling apart, but she persevered, always ensuring I was safe, happy, and provided for, even if it meant going without at times.
There were moments when money was so tight that mum could only afford to heat one room in the house. So, we would sleep in the living room by the open fire during winter to save on bills.
As I got older, mum found her footing with a job she enjoyed as a teaching assistant and life became more stable financially. Though we still had tough times, I never realised we weren't as rich as other families. It made no difference to me. I had everything I needed, love and happiness.
My mother wasn’t overprotective; she encouraged me to become my own person. As a young child, if I ever injured myself, I would run to her in tears, even for the smallest bruises or cuts. One day, she told me that I didn’t need to tell her every time I hurt myself unless it required adult attention.
I took that instruction quite literally! Once, while walking through the forest with my best friend, a string of thorns struck the back of my leg, leaving some still embedded in my skin. When I got home, I limped past mum. She asked what had happened, and I insisted it didn’t need adult attention. Mum disagreed, made me show her, and rolled her eyes, exclaiming something along the lines of, “This definitely requires adult help!”
Many times, she patched me up after I fell, cut myself, or thought I had broken something, but she never told me to stop doing the silly things I did or asked me to be safer. I loved being outside, building dens, finding bugs, and causing mayhem with my best friend (much to his dismay!), and mum knew that. She encouraged it!
I knew it was time to head home in the evenings when the streetlights came on, though I always waited for the very last one to illuminate before heading back, just to squeeze in a few extra minutes of playtime!

In primary school, I begged my mum for a dog, and we found a rescue Collie named Meg. Unfortunately, her time with us was brief, as she was unsafe around children (myself included). It wasn’t her fault; she simply needed a quiet, adult-only home, which I’m pleased to say she eventually found!
It was heartbreaking to catch a glimpse of what life could have been like with a dog, only to have it taken away so soon. At the time, it felt like a cruel twist of fate, but I understand now that it was for the best.
Eventually, we went to meet a litter of puppies born in a shelter, they were mixed breeds, but mostly Patterdale terriers. The drive seemed to take forever! When we arrived, the lady led us to the pen where tiny, black, bouncy puppies came running over, clambering all over us. I was in heaven! However, there was one puppy who stayed back until the others had grown bored and moved on. She approached gently to say hi, and in that moment, I instantly knew she was the one.
The lady explained that this pup was the runt of the litter and warned that she was going to be a handful! That didn’t deter me; I had made my decision, and it seemed the puppy had chosen us, too.
The following days dragged on as mum explained we would be picking up the puppy that weekend. Then, one day when she came to pick me up from school, she surprised me by carrying the puppy in her arms!
We named her KT. I loved the name Katie, but at the time, I couldn’t spell it, so we went with KT. She quickly became a part of the family, causing chaos and bringing so much joy into our lives! Mum and KT became inseparable, and KT lived a long life until she was 17, passing away about four years ago. KT often slept on or beside mum, and once, while mum was knitting a blanket, KT crawled underneath it as she was making it. That rainbow blanket became KT’s special blanket!
Our holidays often involved camping, except for the times when mum's friend offered us the use of her static caravan in Anglesey at a discounted price. KT loved going on holiday with us; we would discover amazing places to explore! She often stole one of our camping chairs and huddled under a blanket whenever she got cold.
I have so many fond memories of our camping trips, with mum cooking on the gas stove out front, no matter the weather. We started a tradition of having pancakes every time we went camping, without fail! Other kids in my class were going to Spain every summer, others were going skiing at Christmas and came back to school bragging about how they went so far from home, and yet I was never jealous. Our holidays were perfect,
There were a few occasions when we had to pack up in a hurry due to the weather, almost losing our tent or witnessing other tents being destroyed by the wind! The first time this happened, I was very young. We had gone camping with some friends, and while the adults packed down the tents (I’m pretty sure it was dark!), the other child and I were bundled into the back of the car before the adults drove us home. The wind howled, the rain lashed down, and it was terrifying! In the following years, I was old enough to help pack up, and despite the chaos, we never seemed to learn our lesson about not setting up tents at the highest points of the campsite!

I believe these camping holidays sparked my passion for traveling. I don’t mind living roughly for a few weeks if it means I get to see different parts of the world!
As I grew older and began to grapple with adult topics, Mum never shied away from our conversations. She was always open and honest, creating a safe space for me to ask questions I didn’t understand or discuss issues I faced regarding boys and intimacy. With my cousins having babies as teenagers, I developed strong boundaries around my physicality.
I was often told that I was mature for my age in terms of "life knowledge and skills" compared to many of my peers, which helped me cultivate respect for myself early on. I attribute this maturity largely to Mum’s honesty and openness. While we didn’t delve into the specifics of intimacy, I knew I could approach her with anything related to it. This assurance made me feel safe and secure, and I believe it played a significant role in reducing the likelihood of making choices that could have changed my life forever.
My mum has always been incredibly supportive of the choices I made, even when she disagreed with them. She allowed me to figure things out for myself. When I entered a relationship that I probably shouldn’t have, she warned me about the dangers and expressed her disapproval, but respected my autonomy enough to let me make my own decisions. Sure, the relationship ended in disaster, but it was a lesson I needed to learn on my own, and she ensured that I had the space to do so. I don’t regret getting into that relationship because I gained invaluable insights about myself, my boundaries, and what I don’t want in a relationship.
Anyway, back to the point! When I began traveling for work experience or job opportunities, my mum was always there for me, supporting me in any way she could, even if she didn’t believe it was the best choice for me. She never once told me "No." Instead, she shared her feelings and then allowed me to choose my own path. I believe there is much to be said for that kind of parenting.
Mum had a few romantic interests, some of which fizzled out quickly because I didn’t get along with them; I was always her priority. A couple of them stuck around for a while and became part of the family, one in particular. For the sake of this post, let’s call him Bob! Bob was a true gentleman and quickly became an important figure in my life. He introduced me to Call of Duty, sparking a passion for gaming that I didn’t know I had until then. He also helped Mum with numerous DIY projects around the house, and he was simply lovely. Unfortunately, their relationship ended when Bob had to move to France to be with his daughter.

Then Neil came into the picture. I won’t delve into how they met, as that’s not my story to share, but Neil has been in our lives for at least eight years now, and he is amazing.
Not only has he been a tremendous support for Mum, but he has also been there for me. I always feel comfortable calling him if I need anything, knowing he would be there for me without hesitation.
Between the two COVID lockdowns, we moved in with Neil so that Mum and he wouldn’t have to be apart when lockdown #2 hit. I never thought I would see my mum living with a man after she had become so strong-willed! She was so accustomed to doing everything on her own.
When I moved out, it marked a significant change for both of us. While I love being more independent and having my own space, I still very much need my mum, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. She helps me stay on top of tasks that can feel overwhelming, and recently she has been aiding financially due to some money troubles. She takes my laundry when I’m struggling to keep up, but most importantly, she is always there if I need to vent about something or just hang out for a coffee.

Despite so much hardship and trauma from her past, My mum created a new pattern for me. We left the drama of her family behind, becoming beautiful women, inside and out.
It has been hard over the past few years to see that confidence in my mum waver. I don't know if that's always been a thing and I have only started noticing in the past 10 years or if it's new, but I don't like seeing it.
For many years now, mum has been battling medical issue after issue, and her confidence and health has suffered for it. Though I still see her as the woman who raised me and gave me life, she see's a reflection that doesn't make her happy.
But I see a beautiful woman who overcame so much and gave me so much, despite having so little to give besides her heart.
She has always been welcoming to my friends, and her favourite phrase to them was "My door is always open", and many of my friends over the years called her their mum, too (as a joke, but part of me wonders if it's because they realised how awesome she was.)
So, this is a shout out to my mum, the woman who has shown me how to be my own person, who has nurtured my passions and fueled my spark. Without her, who knows where I would be!
Thank you, mum. You're awesome!
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