Before we dive in, take a moment to think about all the things you do in a day that use up your energy. Go through your daily routine and notice the parts that leave you feeling more worn out.
Got it? Awesome. You’ll want to keep that in mind for later.
Have you ever heard of the Spoon Theory? Or maybe someone said they were "running low on spoons" that day?
This idea was created by Christine Miserandino (butyoudontlooksick.com) to explain what it’s like to live with a chronic illness, but I think it really connects with neurodivergence too.
In this post, we’re going to explore what the Spoon Theory is, how it works, and what it means for those of us dealing with chronic illnesses or neurodivergent diagnoses.
What is Spoon Theory?

The Spoon Theory, created by Christine Miserandino, is a way to think about how we store, use, and accumulate energy. While there are other metaphors out there, like batteries, the Spoon Theory is one of the most popular ways to talk about energy levels. Christine came up with the idea while chatting with a friend at a café. She grabbed a bunch of spoons to illustrate her point about how her energy levels work, and that’s how Spoon Theory was born.
Imagine you wake up to find a pouch with 20 spoons next to your bed. These spoons represent the energy you have for the day. How well you slept affects how many spoons you start with, along with factors like any health conditions and even the weather or the people around you.
Every activity you do uses up spoons, and by the end of the day, you can count how many you have left. For people without chronic illnesses or neurodivergent conditions, using spoons might happen during a workout or at work. Their spoon levels tend to stay pretty consistent, and they don’t usually need to change their lifestyle to make sure they have enough energy to get through the day.
For us, though, every little thing takes spoons. Just getting undressed for a shower might use one spoon, stepping into the shower another, washing ourselves takes another, and then we have to get out, dry off, and get dressed again. That could easily add up to six spoons for someone, leaving just 12 spoons for the rest of the day.
For those of us with energy-affecting conditions, there are so many activities that drain spoons that others might not even think about.
Remember when I asked you to consider what takes up your energy? Think about your answers and try to estimate how many spoons each activity would cost you.
Things like making a hot drink, doing laundry, preparing lunch, driving to work, or socializing with people you'd rather avoid can all add up. Then there’s the trip to the supermarket, with loud music, kids screaming, beeping registers, and bright lights that feel like they’re burning your eyes—all while you’re trying to figure out which brand of canned tomatoes is the cheapest and without being full of sugar.
Now it’s bedtime, and you still need to brush your teeth, change into PJs, and let the dog or cat out for one last bathroom break. But all of that takes spoons, and your pouch is empty. So, you borrow some spoons from tomorrow’s supply, putting you in spoon debt. You know you’ll wake up with only 18 spoons instead of 20.
The Spoon Theory helps us visualize our energy as something tangible, making it easier to talk about, think about, and understand. Everyone has a different number of spoons that get used at different times of the day. For those of us with energy-affecting conditions, keeping track of how many spoons we’ve spent and how many we have left is a normal part of our daily lives.
So many things can change the number of spoons we start with each day, and that’s something we need to recognize. Being aware of this helps us adjust our schedules to avoid burning out.
The different type of spoons
There are different types of energy, and various activities can deplete spoons from one stash but not another.
Physical energy is probably the one you’re thinking of first. These are the spoons needed for tasks like walking the dog, cleaning the house, or hitting the gym.
Then there’s social energy. These spoons get used up when you’re socializing or in busy environments. Some people take up more spoons than others, while some can actually help recharge your supply. For example, my partner Luke is like a spoon battery for me. Spending time with him can help boost my energy, but then there are others I regularly see who drain my spoons just by being around them because I know how challenging the interaction will be.

Mental energy spoons are spent on things like planning your meals for the week, keeping track of appointments, or figuring out what gifts to buy for everyone at Christmas.
Finally, we have sensory energy, which often gets overlooked. This type of energy is used up when the lights are too bright, the noises are too loud, or there are just too many sounds happening at once. It can also be drained by weird smells you can’t identify, the irritating seam of your jumper, or the unexpected texture of an apple you just bit into.
Some people have larger supplies of certain spoons than others, depending on how their bodies work. For instance, someone with ADHD might struggle with mental and sensory energy but thrive on social interactions. So, when they’re chatting with people they enjoy about topics they love, it actually recharges their social battery. On the other hand, someone with autism might have little to no social spoons. Neither condition is likely to drain physical energy spoons significantly. However, a person with a chronic illness is more likely to spend spoons on simple physical tasks, like walking down the stairs, making breakfast, or driving to work.

Spoon rationing
Some events or tasks definitely take more spoons than others, as we've talked about.
Take a Christmas party, for example. I really enjoy going to these festive meals—the buzz in the air, getting dressed up, enjoying delicious food, and catching up with friends. But let’s be real: these gatherings can be pretty exhausting. Between the socializing, getting ready, trying not to spill food on myself, the restaurant noise, and that annoying flickering light in the corner, it can easily drain at least 10 spoons. So, to make sure I have enough spoons for the event, I try to limit my activities for a day or two beforehand. This way, I can save up those spoons for the dinner. Plus, I always plan a 'rest day' for the day after, so I can recharge before diving back into my usual routine.
The tricky part is that these events are usually booked in advance, and they need to know how many people are coming. I always sign up because if I don’t and later decide I want to go, I might miss out if there aren’t enough seats. But sometimes, even if I think I’ll have enough spoons on the day of the event, I might not feel up to it when the time comes. Still, I often don’t back out unless I’m completely exhausted or sick, mainly due to social pressure and the fear of missing out on a good time. This can lead me into spoon debt.
Being constantly in the red with your spoons is a fast track to burnout, so managing your spoon budget is super important. It’s also essential to learn how to say no sometimes. You’ve got to find ways to recharge, even during busy times, to stay above that limit.
As I mentioned earlier, being in social settings can actually boost my spoon count, but those are what I call “empty spoons.” The moment the dopamine rush fades, I often find myself deep in spoon debt, and that’s when I crash.

Replenishing the spoon stash
Everyone has their own way of recharging those lost spoons, and the method can really depend on how those spoons were spent.
Here are some go-to options for you to consider when you need to restore your energy:
Self-care (whatever that looks like for you)
Video games
Crafts
Time in nature
Sleep
Good food
Movie night
Taking five deep breaths
Cuddling your favorite human or pet
Rewatching a series so your brain doesn’t have to work too hard
Listening to music
Avoiding people
Using noise-canceling earplugs or headphones
This list is by no means exhaustive, so if you have your own unique ways of restoring your spoons, I’d love to hear about them! Please comment below or connect with me on social media. The best way to learn is by chatting, networking, and experimenting together.
I hope you’ve picked up something new about the Spoon Theory! If you enjoyed this blog post, discovered something interesting, or even found something you disagree with, please reach out. I genuinely love chatting with you all!
Until next week! Bye!
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